MyKad, Temporary IC, Offer Letter, Company Letter, Driving Licence and Passport..all these just to...

next time, before u think that opening a new bank account would be just a piece of cake....
think twice...
well here's what happened to me when my new employer informed me that i would need to have a RHB Bank account in order to get my salary in.so well, thinking that its just a small issue, i went to the bank one afternoon and got the form to fill up from one of the customer services guy.

Scene 1

he handed me 2 pieces of paper and told me to fill it up and proceed to counter 9. i did as i was told and upon reaching counter 9, i handed in the forms and was asked to give my IC (MyKad) and then the officer at counter 9 realized tat i filled up the wrong form and gave me another 2 different forms to fill up. feeling slightly irritated that i have write all the stupid crap all over again..i sighed..but decided not to make a big fuss since the officer was very polite to me.
he told me to fill up the form while he go n check my MyKad (he was going to use the electronic reader to read the chip in the MyKad, to get my details).so i patiently wrote all the details again into the 2nd set of forms..cursing under my breath occasionally as my handwriting was going senget due to the lack of use of pen these days.
finally i finished and handed over the form to the officer, by then he himself was looking for me to inform me that my MyKad chip is not working and he couldnt read the details and told me one of the most ridiculous thing i ever heard.

Officer : sir, apparently there is something wrong with your MyKad chip.

Me : Oh, ic..(thinking that they should have some other alternatives to fix tis tiny prob)

Officer : i'm sorry to tell you that we cant open an account without being able to read the MyKad.

Me : har?

Officer : maybe you could go to the IC Department and ask them to check for u. see if their electronic reader there can read the chip. If can, ask them to print out a copy of your details and we can proceed with the opening of an account. If they cant, then they will hav to redo your MyKad and will give you a Temporary IC for 6 months. After 6 months, you will get your new MyKad and then you can open an account.

Me : Stares at him with a what-the-hell-r-u-talking kinda look..6 months????? 6 monthss??

well so since after all my attempts to argue was pointless..i decided to just check out the damn MyKad in the IC Department the next day since its was already almost evening.

Scene 2

Next day morning me n my dad decided to go to the IC Department located in Shah Alam itself, 10 minutes drive from my house. Nearby the IC Department was another branch of RHB Bank, so we just decided to try our luck once again before going to the IC Dept.

The officer in that branch also repeated the same thing to me but however i was a bit luckier this time as this guy told me that in the case that i am given a Temporary IC, i could still try going to the RHB Branch where my company has an account and try to explain to them my problem and they "might" open an account for me as this was for company purpose..and he even told me another stupid news.
my driving licence has expired...T__T
he said i need to hav a valid driving licence if i wanna open an account.

WHY??WHY??why the hell must my stupid driving licence expire 2 days ago?WHYYYY?

Praying hard that the IC Department would just be able to read the bloody chip and i dont have to go to another branch, i proceeded to the IC Dept.
The guy there, checked my MyKad and told me the great news that my MyKad sudah rosak and i need to do a new one and i would have to pay RM10 for it.
feeling frustrated i paid and he told me that i would need to go and take a picture..i was like...whattt?

i was just wearing a normal T-Shirt tat day and my hair was all over the place after walking from one building to another...and he asked me to take a pic with tat!!
arghhhhhhh...couldnt they just transfer my old pic to the new ic or somethin?
fellin even more bengang...i went for the damn picture session and took a pic that i would be carrying around with me for the rest of my life (or at least till i loose it)...so pls dun ask me how the pic turned out.

after moving from one counter to another..sign this n tat...cop tis n cop tat...i got my temporary IC.
and after that i proceeded to JPJ to renew the stupid monkey donkey driving licence!

i knew what i had to do the next day.

Scene 3

i called my new employer and explained my problem and the HR told me that the branch where the company has an account is in PJ and she told me to bring along my offer letter and if at all the bank needs anymore letter..she asked me to call her from there and she will just fax it over to the bank.
she was kind enuff to offer me that..at least i wouldnt have to go back on another day just for that.

so yesterday...i went to the bank in PJ and thinking wat else is gonna happen today...i stepped in.
a gal approached me and i explained the whole story again, she said they would not open an account with a temporary ic..and i told her, no matter wat..i cannot be waiting for six months just for this.it is getting ridiculous!

she said she will talk to her senior staff abt this...and she approached a man.
he called me and told me the same thing again..but then after seeing my company letter head, he at once said he would open the account for me provided that...

I BRING MY PASSPORT!!

give me a breakkk!!!
i told him that my passport is at home in SHAH ALAM!! and my dad usually keeps all our important documents in the bank.
i have to go back all the way and get it and come back here again...getting a parking here is almost impossible.
he said no choice..he needs my passport.
and guess wat...?

he told me tat i filled up the WRONG FORM!!!

AGAINNNNN...

im really gonna murder these people!!

and againnnn...i filled up another 2 different forms...my handwriting was horrible this time..who cares..if u DARE...i wanna see u complain.
man!for heaven's sake...how many thousand forms and procedures do they have just to open one miserable account!

after filling up..i went back all the way to shah alam, took the keys from home..went to the bank..took the damn passport and drove back allll the way to PJ again.

and as i stepped into the bank again..i was telling myself...if they are just gonna ask me to bring one more form...my birth certificate or my grandfathers shipping ticket or my mothers ic or my grandmothers death certificate just to prove that im a malaysian and not a pelarian...

im gonna run amok...im gonna tear this place down...im gonna tear the forms..im gonna break the glasses...im gonna break the tables...im gonna SCREAAAAAAAAMM(ok..i dun wanna get myself landed in prison..i'll stop here)

and thankfully...thank god...thank the angels..thank the sky..thank the earth...thank the toyols..
i finally managed to open the damn account!

well i guess they have all these procedures for security reasons, cant really blame them and thankfully all the RHB Bank staffs that i met have been very nice to me.polite and helpful and that actually made all these running up and down more bearable.
maybe i was just unlucky..so happen all my documents have decided to go crazy at this particular moment.

perut pun dah besar..!!!

i was on my way back after work and as i got into the train i came face to face with a girl whom i instantly knew who she was. she was my secondary schoolmate..and she too recognized me at once even though we last met almost 5 years back (my my...i never knew 5 years passed since i last left school).
"hello Prakashh!!"
"hieeee..Syaa...(i just realized..i forgot her name)..errr...hie hie apa khabar??"

and so we chatted and chatted...since we didnt see each other for like so long there was just too much story to keep up with.asking about old frens and wat they're doin an all..hehe..well it was really kinda fun to tune ourselves back to those good old days when we were so much younger and innocent(yea rite) ...everything was good until.....until we reached this particular part of the conversation...

friend : "wahh..u pun nampak lain sekarang lah"

me : "hehe..yea..besar sikit.."

friend : "yeahh...perut pun dah BESAR!!"

me : (i dunno it was the power of tat statement or wat..my head quickly towards my tummy!!)

arghhh!!...i said besar sikit coz of course after like 5 years she cant expect me too look like a teenage kid!!but perut pun dah besar is definetely a bit of an overstatement!!
but as i looked down..my tummy did look big(but no sooo BESAR la)...and i was like..what the hell!!
i just saw it this morning...and it wasn't like this!

and thanks to her...after that i just couldnt pay any attention to watever she was saying..i kept glancing down at my tummy every few minutes just too see if it would be shrinking after a few minutes or somethin...but nooo...it didnt do any better...it looked all the same...:(
all i could do was wait to get back into the car and check out the sudden increase of tummy size.

and finally that moment arrived...i quickly rushed into the car and closed the door.

me : "do i have a big tummy??"

dad : "...you..whatt?"

i repeated my question and told my dad the whole conversation...he was laughing his head off..looking at the expression on my face...and ended it with...

dad : "go check it urself then.."

me : "right..drive a bit faster please"

dad : "HAHAHAHA...come off it!"

when i got back..i guess u guys can expect the first thing i would hav done.
i rushed into my room too check my tummy..hahaha..it really sounds like im overreacting..but i just dont know why..that statement really hit me hard on the head.
some kinda powerful impact in just those few words.

and finally..after all the checking ..i concluded...it was that bloody shirt i was wearing!
it was really too big for me..and with all those extras hanging here n there..and i've got tis habbit of wearing a white t-shirt inside sometimes (when my shirt material is a bit the silky type)..all these made me look like so huge especially at the region of my tummy coz after work half of my shirt was hanging out!
so the next day i wore a shirt tat was just nice for my size whith no extra t-shirt inside and checked the mirror a few times before leaving home just to ensure nothing looked exra big and was so hoping to meet my fren in the train....to make her see the real size of me...and in fact was even ready to lift the shirt up and ask her..oi!u panggil ini BESAR ka??..hahahha...just kiddin..just kiddin...:P
but i did wear a shirt with the right size though..just in case u see..haha



well..actually the reason why i got so tensed up after hearing that was because all sorts of wierd things was running in my mind...one example of it was..

"ohh myy..how many gals would have seen me and thought that i have a big tummy..!"

ahhahaha...lets just hope not many cute gals were on the train that day eh...:P

did u do something?

Client : Hello.May i speak to Miss.TripleA please?

Me : Hello. I'm sorry Miss.TripleA is not in the office at the moment. Would you like to leave a message for her instead?

Client : hmmm..well.may i know who's speaking please?

Me : its me Ash here.

Client : ohh..Ash. its me Ms.Client here. u do remember me right?

Me : of course i do.how can i help you Ms.Client?

Client : well...i was wondering if you could guide me on how to generate this particular report...yada yada..(proceeds to explain abt the report which i hav no clue abt and i was bz replying my fren tru msn while she was explaining...;))...actually Miss.TripleA already thought me how to do it..but somehow when i try to do it now,the report doesnt want to come out la.i think sure your system got some error la..aihh..pls la..try to fix for me..do u think you can help me ar?

Me : ohh..of course (at this particular point i had no idea what i was agreeing to)..can u give me like 5 minutes. let me start up the system first and i will give u a call once im ready and then i would be able to guide u better.is that ok Ms.Client?

Client : sure..thanks ya.

(after 20 minutes..i totally forgot that i was supposed to call her back was bz with somethin else..and suddenly remembered that someone was waiting for me to call back)

Me : Hello, may i speak to Ms.Client please?

Client : Yeah speakin. Hello there ash.

Me : sorry for the delay Ms.Client.the system here had some problem.finally i managed to run it. (that was a downright lie..at that particular moment i was busy digging my folders to look for the damn project...and somehow i really couldnt locate that particular version of the system that she was referring to)
Now..y dont u explain to me step by step what u usually click in order to generate that report. I'll try to do the same from here n check n see why u are unable to generate it.

Client : Ok. First i Login. and then i click X and X and then i do Y and then i do that. can u follow me so far?but u see la...sure wont come out one...i already did many times..

Me : yyyea..sure..err..just try one more time k(ok..yea...finally found the project...opening it now...ehhh..nola...this one wrong version!alamak...)

Client : then when i click this right...usually there will be a text box appearing here on the left.now i dont see it..what happened to it?

Me : err..that one..we removed it to enhance the performance...earlier that textbox was causing the system to perform much slower..(...clicked on the run icon..waiting for the system to load)

Client : ohh...no wonder la now the system much faster...last time abit slow like tat.

Me : yeah yeah...(thanks for believing me..)

Client : Ok.now i click this n this n tat..and now im waiting for the thing to load..u also clicked the same rite?u see aa...sure it wont load one... i tell u..wont come out one...

Me : yeah..i also clicked the same..im waiting for it to load now...(typing in login n password..hang in mid air...arghhhhh...im in a hurry!!cant we save all this hanging for another day??..)

(at this point i started inventing a new story to tell her when she tells me that the report is not coming out)

Client : Ehhhhh...waitaa...ehh....the report came out la!ohh..my god..how come suddenly can one...eh..u did something ar?did u modify the system for me?..no wonderla now can run already!thanks ar..thanks..!!

Me : (@$%#%^$&??)
err...yeah..yeah...i actually just created a script and updated your database remotely while you are checking.this problem was caused by a database error actually...i managed to figure it out and corrected it while u were explaining to me.

Client : wahhh....so fast.not bad not bad..thanks a lot arr...

Me : no problem..he he..small matter onli.(finally the main page loaded..;))


ok well i made that last 4 lines up...hehe..but actually she did ask me if i did somethin.but then i decided to tell her the truth.i even told her tat my system here is hanging in mid air for some strange reason.hehe..but she was happy nevertheless..for her..as long as the report can be generated..she's safe.her boss wont bang her.

but the thing tat caught my attention was when she asked me..."ehh u did somethin ar??..no wonderla now can run already!!thanks ar thanks!"..
haha..at that precise moment i was actually thinking of banging the mouse on the table.coz i was already really stressed up with other matters on tat day..and all these small problems was just driving me up the wall...and i knew that this lady is gonna make me fix this bug no matter wat and that would take up at least a few hours and all my other work is gonna get stuck.

haha..but what d'ya know...strange things happen when u dont expect it eh