closing the book...

hi there everyone, long time no see ;)

well again, my opportunity to blog has been restricted due to the fact that my company has once again blocked all Blogging related websites. And because of that, i haven't got much opportunity to update my blog lately.

speaking about blogging, i thought that my main intention of blogging was to keep track of the special events that took place in my life..all those events would come in as a great nostalgic memory to me when i flip back those pages and read the entries someday..

but somehow..after i started blogging again few months ago after a long break, i realized that my blog contained more than just entries that depict my life happenings..
this blog seems to be a part of my life where i used to have alot of fun "chatting" with my fellow blogger mates..
and lately..due to our working commitments and lifestyle..things are no longer the same..

heh..everyone has moved on to another stage of their life and things are a bit different now..but none of us should be blamed for this. its just part of the ageing process i guess..everyone moves on to a new chapter..

so after starting to blog back again recently..i discovered that there's something missing in my entries..the "special fun" that i used to have here is no longer here...and in fact i feel that even my style of writing has changed..haha

its something like this..

if lets say now we all gather back again..and join APIIT or high school for our education..and we gather back the same group of friends and teachers and everything else..do u think it'll feel the same as it used to be back then?

haha..i dont think so kan..
everyone will be having new characteristics due to the change in their environment and lifestyle after few years..and we cant expect to feel the same old way again.

but i'm sure we'll still have fun..but i believe it'll be a new kinda fun..the one that suits our new character and personality..
and at the same time we still cherish the fun we had during our younger days and we surely wouldn't want to exchange that with something else.

so i think its the same here in the blogging world..i realize that when one day when i read back my entries, i not only want to remember the special moments in my life..but i also want to remember the fun i used to have with my fellow friends..and i dont want to alter that memory with the new chapter that we're going through..

definetely i have plans to record my life happenings..its something i still find very exciting to do..but maybe i'll do it somewhere else as i think its best to leave A Book of Ash the way it is..;)

don't worry..i will surely visit your blogs..especially Eng as he's the only one who's very consistent at updating since last time..great job mate..:)

and to the rest..hope to see you all again someday and hope we can have a new kinda fun...haha..

oh yea..wishing you all a happy and prosperous new year..

till we meet again...take care guys...;)

need Your blessings...

after so long being deprived from the opportunity to use MSN at work..finally we found a way to secretly use it again..
and the following was a conversation i had with one of my fren yesterday...

Disclaimer : this post has no intention to make fun of any particular religion..its just a unique practise which i thought of sharing with you guys..;)

fren : sigh panic panic at my office..

fren : you know, my office has this rule..

me : and wats tat..

fren : we must play Buddha songs during system roll out to the the live server.. The Buddha song is to bless the whole roll out process so that it will run successfully..

me : hahahha...u serious mate?

me : first time im hearin this kinda thing

fren : yah.. weird kan..aih but somehow the praying is making me more panic saje..

fren : but they have been doing it for many years...

me : haha..tat means ur boss is quite religious

fren : dono..only our department got such thing

me : haha..but its kinda cute

fren : yah last time I thought someone like to listen to buddha chanting music but later I only i found out its a practice during roll out..

me : haha..i really find it so special lah

fren : me too :P

other topics...

me : so ur product launch tmr?

fren : no today

me : u nampak relex je

fren : if I am the manager then I will be panic lah

fren : I am just another employee ma :P

me : haha

me : Buddha is helping u stay calm la

fren : no the chanting is really not helping..

me : hahaha..really ka

fren : i feel like im inside a temple saje

me : hahahaha!

fren : lol


Btw, my friend is a Buddhist himself..so i guess he was just sharing with me the unique custom of his new workplace..
hehe..even i find it special..i wonder if you guys came accross anything similar bfor..

at my place here its surely gonna be weird since we have alot of Muslim friends around..i really cannot imagine them listening to some Sanskrit Chanting or Buddha prayers during system roll out...

i guess its surely good to have faith in God..but its also important that all the staffs are open minded enough to take it positively..
luckily my fren's colleagues r ok with it ;)

Update

this part taken from my chat with Jyrenze after she read my post.

J¥®ëñzë : haha go see my comment!

me : hahha ok

me : hahahha

me : yea..i've heard budhhist chanting befor..its like very sad like tat

me : but i think kan..its supposed to make u realize all the mistakes u've done..and insaf la..haha..my wild guess..:P

J¥®ëñzë : ahahha

J¥®ëñzë : but it doesnt sound like its gonna bless IT codes

J¥®ëñzë : more like

J¥®ëñzë : makes u wonder wat u done wrong!

me : hahahhha..aiyoo this one is a good one!

me : ..i never tot of it this way...

sorry..i don't know her..

when i was coming back from the toilet yesterday,someone was waiting at our floor entrance (we hav to walk out to the lift area to get to the toilet)..

the security guard was speaking to the person and when i walked past him..the visitor asked me if i knew Ms.A from the HR dept..

the name was familiar..

u see, we have this practise to place a big label with our names on it at our cubicle.it is supposed to create a more friendly environment where u will know your colleague's name since we have like 200 over employees sitting in one floor alone..

i appologized and walked back to my seat since i couldnt remember who she was..
as i was walking back..something was telling me that the name was very familiar and i know this person..i kept thinking and thinking and finally i reached my place..

then i SAW it..

the girl who sits 2 seats away in front of me is Ms.A!
and to be exact..i was sitting exactly right beside her for almost 5 months until i shifted to my current place, 2 seats behind my original seat..-_-

i was so ashamed at myself that when eventually the visitor found out who Ms.A was..and when he was walking towards her cubicle..i went as low as possible to hide my face(thank god v have high dividers for our cubicles)..

gosh..u see wat im trying to say here?
its kinda wierd here u know..i mean..its like ppl always tend to mix around with their own teams and dont bother to make friends with other teams..
although im sitting right beside the HR team..exactly right beside..i mean i could touch my neighbour's head if i stood up..we are THAT close physically..
but the onli thing we say to each other is "Good Morning"..and i've been here for like 6 months already..

no no..im not anti-social..i love making love friends..back in my previous comp..we had like 30 staffs in my floor and i would know everyone..go chit chat with all of them n it was really fun to hav so many friends at work..it makes ur working life more comfortable u know..feels more like home..

but somehow its just not the same here..everyone has so much ego (ok fine fine..including me) and always wait for the other party to initiate a conversation..

ash used to be so noisy n famous at work with his team of noisy colleagues..ppl never thought that software guys could be so noisy..unlike their usual nerdy image

sigh..now all that's left is a quiet n decent looking boy..

i mean..how come it was so easy to make friends with almost 30 over colleagues..and now its just so hard to start a conversation with one person..who sits right beside me..

sick sick sick...

oh god..don't ask..

these days fever and watever that comes alongside with it is no longer attacking us in the usual way it used to do..well at least not for me.

last week thursday i had a mild sorethroat when i woke up in the morning, i bought some Strepsils on the way to work and by the time it was 12noon..i was practically feeling pain all over my body and i knew i was starting to have fever. i decided to just pack up and go back home since the crazy freezing aircond in the office wasnt helping either.

i reached home and took the necessary medication and went to take a nap..when i woke up in the evening, i was already having pain all over my body. OMG..i was like wat the heck man..i just got fever like few hours ago..takkanlah the effect already so teruk and to make things worst..i was vomiting..seriously i hate vomiting coz it makes me very weak and irritated.

finaly at night, i went to the hospital where my mom works and saw the doc and got my MC for 2 days and spent the rest of the weekend sleeping and scolding everyone for every small reason (i dunno y i get so moody when im sick :P)...fast forward to Monday, i was somewhat recovered and was back to work.

and as if the weekend ordeal wasnt enough, yesterday i suddenly had food poisoning..and for the first time in my life i had the chance to actually vomit and drive at the same time..hows THAT!

i had no clue how this whole thing started..i went to work as usual on Tuesday morning and suddenly by lunch i was vomiting. vomiting and vomiting...every few minutes..goshh..horrible..

finally i decided to go back home..and THAT, was the most craziest decision i made..
once i started driving, the vomiting started again and i was practically holding a plastic in one hand and the car steering in another!oh god..i couldnt even find a place to stop!

so it went on and on..every 2 minutes i would vomit..and i think i did it 20 over times..until i finally reached home.

gosh..i was already like a sotong when i stepped into my house..i straightaway went to bed.suprisingly the vomiting also stopped..

man..seriously when i think back..i really kenot understand what happened. i was all okay in the morning until suddenly at 1pm this whole drama started..no clue or indication at all that this was coming...sheeshhhh...crazy lah!!

speechless...

if there is one time i can make good use of this word..then definetely this is the moment..

1 week ago i had the chance to witness the rehearsal and actual performances by the China Disabled People's Performing Art Troupe or also known by their team's name My Dream. To me it was definetely a very special opportunity to actually get the chance to be part of this whole program and witness these blessed artists perform such an amazing piece of work on stage..i wonder if i will ever get the chance again..

First and foremost, i think the biggest question that was left playing in our minds after watching the show was to ask ourselves, who's the actuall handicapp....me or them?

i believe that not only me, but the entire hall would agree that the spectacular performances by these talented souls made us truly realize the ability within us. it made us realize that we are so far left behind as compared to them in utilizing the strength that we have within us as humans..

frankly speaking..disability wasnt even an issue there, they were far off more confident and capable of handling everything by themselves perfectly fine..if not even better than most of us. it made me wonder if even a person with no disabilities can even do such a stunning performance as perfectly as them...it was definetely an eye-opener show for the audience..thanks to them for making us realize how handicapped we are.




the show

initially we were worried that we might not be able to sell all the tickets for each nite's show as the sales were going a bit slow..but on the day of the first show (Saturday), amazingly the ticket sales started picking up and within no time the entire hall which could accomodate almost 2000 over audience was almost full.

the audience were left speechless as they artists started their performances one after the other..they clapped and clapped and clapped as loudy as they could every few minutes to let the artists know how meaningful is their effort to us. one of the most touching performance was by a blind singer, Yang Haijun. he sang a song titled "When a child is born" with his fabulous voice which was so beautiful and could bring tears to the eyes of the listener.

the most interesting part to be noted was the perfect syncronization of the music and the artist's dance steps when the artists were actually unable to hear the music. so it makes us wonder how much effort and training needed to be done by them in order to understand the dance moves according to the music which they cant hear..truly their trainers have done a wonderful job.

and not forgetting the malaysian performers from various organizations who also took part in the event and gave equally remarkable performances which made us all wonder the gift God has given them and how they fully utilize it to show their appereciation towards their creator.

the second day show also had a huge turnout and almost all the seats were filled. thanks to the media's highlight on the 1st day's performance, many people were eager to come and watch it on the second day.

the audience could not stop applauding and all the artists received a very long standing ovation by the audience at the end of the show.

the effort they have painstakingly put in order to bring the realization to us about our own stregth would have definetely reached the audience..i believe this show would have woke many of us up from our deep slumber of laziness and arrogance of how great we are.

little did we realize that somewhere in the corner of the earth..some special people are far more ahead of us..


**note : all that i've written here is solely based on my opinions and views alone ;) and ohh..i must admit that all of the artist are really really good looking u know..we were rushing to take pics with them..:P

volunteering..

one of my major accomplishment for this year would be to finally volunteer myself for an organization which does charity. well i've been thinking of this for a long long time but never actually found anything to my liking as i was a bit choosy in the way i'm going to volunteer myself. I wanted to find an organization where it can really meet my objectives of volunteering and not volunteer just for the sake of volunteering.
After the long wait, i finally found AFM. It all happened when i knew Amma was coming down to Malaysia again in April 2008 and i wanted to do something for Her organization during Her visit here. The reason for this was because when i first met Amma in 2006, I saw hundreds of volunteers helping out for the event and i liked to see the unity spirit in them as they were from different races and religion but all working towards one goal with loads of love.

Although i'm a Hindu by religion, i prefer not to join orgazations which are focused on serving only Hindu related activities, i prefer to be more open so that I'm able to reach and serve more people in this world, regardless of their race or religion. And when i saw Amma's charity work and the way She reaches to the people, i immediately decided that that this is where i wanna serve.

When i first sent the application form, i expected to be given some very small task such as serving food to the devotees or distributing pamphlets as the organization was already so huge and there were almost 1000 over volunteers who already signed up for Amma's visit. But never did i expect that i was straightaway pulled into the main organizing committee to help out the organization's top management in planning out the whole event as it was a huge event with almost 20000 people coming to visit Amma in one day and almost 800 over volunteers working to manage them.
It was truly a staisfying and most memorable experience in my life as i was really able to contribute something meaningful which met my objectives to be a volunteer.

Now once again the organization is organizing a charity show with handicapped children & adults performing. It will be held this weekend at the Kuala Lumpur Convention Center with handicapped artists coming from as far as China and also Malaysia.

It has been a busy week again as we're sorting out all the volunteers and everthing else to make sure the show runs smoothly. Once again its gonna be an eye-opener experience for me as i work with these handicapped children and take care of their needs personally. Only tommorow, for the first time i will be meeting the whole group which consist of almost 80 over handicapped artists . Just reading their background alone sometimes brings tears to my eyes..i dont know what will happen to me when i watch them performing.

God bless them..

For mor information about the show you can visit here.

c u after the show guys :)

missing someone..

When someone is beside us all the time..we never tend to realize how important they are..or how much their company means to us..
i guess for most of us,the realization only comes to us when the person is no longer around..

at home it always has been me, dad, mom and sis only..we've always stayed together n hardly had any extra member living with us for a long time but on 1st June 2008..my granny from Kedah came down to stay with us. on the first day of arrival..we were all worried as to how we are gonna adjust our lifestyle to make sure granny is comfortable.we started worrying about so many things as we are so used to our own busy lifestyle and were worried that we might not be able to be at home all the time to take care of granny's needs.

she's about 75 years old and prefers home cooked food and it has to be cooked according to her liking..it should not be too spicy or salty, the vege should be chopped into the right sizes and shouldn't be too big..the food should be hot when served to her..shouldn't add "unwanted" ingredients when preparing any dishes b'coz she doesn't like the taste of it ..and the list goes on..
and in addition to that, she had trouble walking fast or balancing herself while walking..u know all these old age problems..so her biggest challenge was to get upstairs to her room as the downstairs room is occupied for other purpose.someone needs to hold her hand to bring her up and down..

and the biggest challenge for us was to adopt to all these changes because usually we are hardly at home as 3 of us are working and will only b back home after 7pm..then my dad altho retired, is always tied up with some work to do during the day time n be back in the afternoon, so this means that all 4 of us usually wont be at home during the day time.

but we were prepared to adjust our lifestyles to suit granny..we made certain arrangements to ensure that she is safely brought downstairs every morning and she gets her "hot" food everytime during lunch..but besides the food arrangement and bringing her down every morning..granny was very much independant..she can stay alone and jaga herself even when we are out.

during the begining stages it was abit tough for us as we were not used to this new schedule..but we all co-operated and tried to give our best shot..

without even me noticing..5 months passed by and somehow we managed to keep her safe n healthy at our home..it was a good experience for all 4 of us. we learned alot during these 5 months as taking care of an elderly person isnt tat easy as we think especially when we never had the experience of it. All the cranky attitude needed to be handled very patiently so that we do not offend her..;)

today granny left for Kedah..back to my uncle's home where she usually stays.after 5 months being with her..i know im gonna miss her company..besides all the extra care we needed to do for her, we always enjoyed her company in a sense that she's always energetic n will tell you loads and loads of stories at any time of the day..stories from her past..
altho some stories were frequently repeated again n again (which me n my sis will secretly keep track on how many times the story has been re-told :P), i know now im gonna miss those moments.

granny also helped me improve my Tamil speaking skills alot..haha..i hardly can speak Tamil properly due to the lack of practise..i sound very cacat when i speak in Tamil and these 5 months speaking Tamil to granny helped me polish the speaking skills abit..so at least now i wont be so shy to say my orders in Tamil when im at an indian food shop ;)

today morning when my whole family left for kedah to send her back..i felt abit sad..even granny was sad to leave..the sofa where she usually lies down to sleep is gonna be empty now..i purposely left her pillow on the sofa..it gives me a feeling that she's still around at home.
i'm gonna miss tat moment when i walk into the house after work and see her turning her head to greet me and i would respond with "hi Patty!"

during weekends when im at home..she would always ask me to sit beside her so that she can spend some time talking with me..she would say to me that when she's no longer around, i wont get the chance to hear her talking again..

i always treasure the company of old people because to me they carry with them a lot of experience from the past which we will never have the chance to experience and they carry with them the blood of our ancestors and the first hand memories of conversation that they had with them whom we never had the chance to meet..

we all will miss her..just hope she will come to stay with us again..

c u again patty..